Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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