You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
