You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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