If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I just found puke in my bra..
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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