It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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