btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
