At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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