Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
