was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Randomize
