Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
this hospital has no fireball
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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