The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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