is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Randomize
