1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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