drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
