yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize