there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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