My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
