I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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