wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
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