New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
