And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
