Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
