If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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