Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
