she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
