Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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