you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Randomize
