There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
What a dumb baby whore.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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