Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
