it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Randomize
