can u get pink eye on your cock?
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
