All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
