ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
