Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
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