Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
