You're so nebulous sometimes
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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