And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
