The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
She announced her abortion via fbk
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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