I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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