apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
