I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
