i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize
