How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Randomize
