Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
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