he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
