its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
