two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
