Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
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