how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
