It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
You have to summon your inner elephant
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
