Grow some girl-balls and come out already
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
