i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
You made out with two different species that night
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
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