what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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