If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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