Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
