Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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