I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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