Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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