There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
