someone get that fucking seahorse.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
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