dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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